High Def TV outpaces advances
in cosmetic surgery – CoverUps.com
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In this Nielson test, a typical viewer reacts to TV newscasters photographed by high-definition video cameras. |
By Scratch DeReno
CoverUps.com InvestigatorACROSS NORTH AMERICA – TV personalities are having fits nowadays, CoverUps has learned – and it’s all because of the FCC mandate that all broadcast TV go high-def by 2009. The date keeps getting pushed back, and it’s not because of the tremendous expenses involved for broadcast television studios to upgrade their equipment. Rather it’s TV personalities’ fear that high def TV brings out their cosmetic imperfections that’s proving to be the bottleneck.
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Dike Storm, a young meteorologist and anchorwoman, considers the benefits of having her face stretched thin to hide the effects of years of hard drinking, smoking and poor health habits. WGN’s switch to high definition broadcasts have her and other hard-living TV personalities scared to death. |
Dike Storm of WBGN in Chicago said she never considered going under the knife – until she saw how nasty she looked on her neighbor’s 50” DLP rear screen projection TV.
“I was shocked,” she said. “I thought I was watching the apple trees from 'The Wizard of Oz'." Storm told us.
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One of the apple trees from 'The Wizard of Oz'. |
She’s not alone. Many other TV personalities have had similar shocks. Max Scrotum of KDKA TV in Pittsburgh:
“On high def, the redness in my eyes is glaring… I guess I’ll have to have my face sandpapered like the rest of them… What else can I do…?”
Anchorwoman Beaver Fondu of neighboring WPXI echoed these sentiments:
“I get around the office a lot - if you know what I mean,” she told CoverUps with a wink. “Sometimes I look a little haggard… especially after cocktails with the station manager at lunch….”
Whoa… High def doesn’t have to mean “high detail.” Does it?
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