Global Warming Caused
by Human Exercise – CoverUps.com

STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN: Al Gore accepts the Nobel Peace Prize for his work promoting greater awareness of global warming,


By Fredericka Kozlowski
CoverUps.com Investigator

The threat of rising sea levels has been a hot issue for several years now. Rising CO2 levels have many worried about melting ice at the poles and producing more extreme weather. With the rise of average temperatures in the last 100 or so years, many people point the finger at the western world, with its heavy reliance on automobiles and other CO2 inducing practices.

Other theories zero in on things like cow flatulence. But a new study out of California shows shocking results that has scientists scratching their heads.

Scientists tell us we can expect to see more scenes like this one, where firefighters battle flames started by spontaneous combustion of the earth because of global warming.

Dr. Mitch Flores, who led the five-year study, talked with CoverUps.com. "Once we came to our conclusions, we knew they would be hard for many people to accept. But when you really think about it, it makes so much sense. The heat that millions of human beings give off everyday from exercising, cooking, and even walking, is destroying the planet." 

Legislation being considered in Congress would outlaw pickup basketball games like this one.

Since unrelenting exercise is seen as a necessity for all citizens to stay fit in our culture, we could be in for one hell of a fight between the health nuts and the climate-change nuts.

"The heat released by those with healthy lifestyles is overwhelming," Flores said. "As long as we keep exerting ourselves, I can't imagine anything but utter disaster." says Flores. "To say nothing about all the air conditioners that have to run all the time in order to make gyms across the country bearable for the regulars – and even just the once-a-monthers."

The solution? Become a couch potato? Throw out the weight set? CoverUps.com says, "Yes." Don't do it for yourself. Do it to save the earth. 

Reached for comment, Robert Earl Blechhh, President of the Let's-Just-Sit-Around-All-The-Time-and-Feed-Our-Faces-Society, mumbled something unintelligible but probably approving of the results of Doctor Flores' study.

 


coverup-silly