The South Florida Chronicles Begin – CoverUps.com
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Miami Beach is fast becoming a galactic hodgepodge of alien races bent on wild abductions and tasting the good life (forms). Pictured above is an Alien marker in Miami Beach . CoverUps has come to learn this sign post serves as a way marker for many weary galaxy-hopping aliens for the nearby Alpha Centauri solar system and beyond. Other aliens here on R & A, or “Rest and Abduction,” include the androgynous Wupulary and the blob-like Hertinskuyar’s from Arcturus. |
By Matthew “Scratch” De Reno
CoverUps.com InvestigatorPITTSBURGH, PA (CoverUps.com Eastern Headquarters) – An insidious Alien plot to infiltrate the greater Caribbean islands and South Florida was revealed to myself, "Scratch" De Reno (CoverUps.com reporter), earlier this summer and then was promptly misplaced and forgotten. Luckily, for mankind, I recently found it at the bottom of my golf bag.
How I originally obtained these plans is not important. What is important is this: I had an excuse to go to Miami, FL, on CoverUps.com's dime. I was also then able to investigate the real problem - Where are my golf clubs?
Drawn out on a cocktail napkin, the diabolic plan called for the Florida panhandle to be lazed for attack from interstellar death rays or, maybe—It was hard to read—used as an alien rendezvous spot for a Lollapalooza-style human buffet of abduction binging. Other theories include Miami as being enslaved to serve as an interstellar shipping hub for “GalacticFlix,” an alien-operated company that waylays DVD's across the Universe.
With due delay and deliberation, I will be heading down to South Florida to set up a CoverUps.com forward command center. My plan is to corroborate reports of alien activity and convey breaking news about the so called alien invasion of South Florida primarily from Miami to Key West . If I happen to see any strange alien abductions going on, I may be forced to take action into my own hands. Who knows? Maybe I will bag one as fast as Dick Cheney can a lawyer during a quail hunting trip.
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The beach may seem carefree and innocent. However, the upright palms trees are indicative of Wupulary Aliens buried in the sand with their “palm tree” like phalluses jutting upwards to the sky. |
Not that I am angling for a Pulitzer or anything, but I am putting myself in harms way for you, the faithful CoverUps.com reader. Then again it is Florida, the State of continuous sunshine, oranges, NBA championships and Godlike swaths of hurricane destruction. Not that I am picky, but if it were New Jersey, I’d pass on this assignment.
So, I have ramped up the proper equipment, packed the bags, bought plane tickets. CoverUps.com is on its way to report a special series called The South Florida Chronicles. Until the first report, hang tight. Meanwhile, I will try to not spill any Pina Coladas on my reports.
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